my tumblr.

okay so for those who don't know, i got myself a tumblr.

www.creepunderblacklightz.tumblr.com

i'm pretty sure that's the link... yeah.

so i'm off of this now. :)
lurk me on that.

i've gotten much more serious now...
actually no. i wouldn't call it serious. i've been serious and everything all along, i only chose to show my happy side, really... maybe more of a forced face of happiness.
now i actually blog-blog.
yeah brah.

so peace, broskis.
blog spot, you've been good.

smellyalata,

krisi :)

fml.

my dad's a homophobe.

...awesome.

fckh8 & tumblr

i have this new obsession.

it's called tumblr.

i don't have one, thinking about getting one though...

but anyways,

people post picture up on other peoples tumblrs, and some of the pictures are AMAZING.

for someone who digs photography like i do, it's astounding.

i find myself creeping anyone's tumble i can to see new pictures.

some are funny too, just sayin'.

ALSO, A LITTLE SIDE NOTE:

www.fckh8.com

GIVER A LOOK. it's my new favourite cause.

besides diabetes.

SPEAKING OF WHICHIEPOO,

hug a diabetic day is coming up soon, along with my anniversary of being diagnosed.

it's been so long now, i actually don't remember the years. i think it's 11.

maybe.

ANYWAYS, all for now.

smellyalata,

krisi :)

give'r a read.

i read this today, and i don't wanna say much about it.

however... i think it's true, and i was surprised as to how much i can relate to it:

"I guess this is growing up. Tear stained pillows every night, staring naked at yourself in the mirror, waiting for that text that will never come, wishing for impossible things, like a thinner body or a pretty face. Growing up is feeling self-conscious enough about yourself to break down crying in the school bathroom and the horrible panicking that comes when you realize that you left your makeup at home, when your mum is screaming at you about school, your friends and you just can’t do anything right. And that one boy that will always have your heart and you will try anything to forget him and get over him but all he does is make you cry. I will never know if its just me that is passing time like this, so painfully. Or am I just crying about stuff that everyone else is brave about."

yeah. just some food for thought?

smellyalata,

monstuur :)>

spanks givin'.

so thanksgiving is coming up.

and supposedly, i am supposed to be thankful for my family, my wealth, my happiness and some shit.



well here's the deal.

i'm not as thankful as i should be, and i know it.

yes, i'm thankful i have my family, even if my mom hates me 82% of the time.

yes, i'm thankful i have money to buy myself the things i want and need.

yes, i'm thankful for being happy... as i am.



but overall, i think i'm more thankful for music & friends.



like, to be all so serious, without music, i would probably be dead now.

and without my great pile of sexy ass mofo friends, i'd be way long dead.



and so, i'm gonna say a BIG THANK YOU too all my loves.



y'all know who you are. but for those who are like "ahshit, i dunnoe if she be talking 'bout meh.", i'm gonna copy someone, only a little. i'm gonna make a list, and in my list, i'm going to put down a memory i have of us. that way, you should figure it out. (and if you aren't on my blog as a stalker, i'm NOT going to add you, because you really shouldn't read my blog anyways, cause it is pretty boring and all...)

-lets cry together over webcam and have a meaning moment? :)


-tittie twister? i get em eery time.


- sexual assault wheelchair! OHLLIGHT. s.MIKY.


- nomz up that cookie dough and chat roulette?


-oh you... you literally are my sister. you know too much about me. and you're so retarded. enjoy that underwear, whore. ;)


- you've probably forgotten about this, but me you and someone else, we used to pretend the yellow poles on the border of LPPS were our boyfriends and we use to hug them and shit. LOL I MISS THAT.


-ahyouu. you somehow got me to talk about stuff i don't normally tell anyone. but you accepted me, and that honestly was the greatest, and i thank you for that. sorry for those big bug bites, by the wayyy...


- BEN AND JERRY'S MOTHER LOAD ANYONE? :D you're great.

okay, i hope you all figured out who you are. :)
i love you, and i'm sorry if i'm ever a d-bag to you, you guys are the most important people in my life, and i'd be so lost without you.
you guys all pulled me up when i was really low, and i thank you so much.
i love you. for ever. ( L )

smellyalata,

krisi :)

are you legit?

yes. yes i am.

lol, no.

okay, well, i think i need to start blogging again.

and not about how i have a gf one minute, and then the next we break up.

i need to go back to blogging about the LAWLZ shit in life.

'cause i vowed not to blog like most people i find, who use this as an outlet.

and don't get my wrong, that is totally cool.

just... i need to be a little different.

and fuck, i KNOW i am GREAT at that.

so.

who remembers cute guy who thinks i'm a lesbian?

HAHA! WELL! GOOD NEWS!

he know's i'm bi.

... OH LOL. yeah, i'm bi, for those who didn't know.

and so thats the good news. :)

i've recently started talked to this fellow, who i should name...

lets name him... SMC.

it stands for "sexual man chocolate."

fuck i hope he doesn't read this.

and anyways, yes. i've started talking to him.

and i'll blog my failed attempts at this, as they happen. :)

smellyalata,

krisi :)

why i leave parties early.

i went to a party tonight. and i left early.

and people there, wanted to know why.

and i'm sure, people are talking...

so here's the story.

my girlfriend and i, broke up.

and now, i'm single. i didn't want to end what we had (...so short.)but i had too.

it wasn't working out for us.

she was ignoring me, and when she did talk to me, it was only about some other guy.

she accused me and shit i didn't do.

we don't get to see each other, often.

you're thinking, "omg krisi, that's so lame."

no. it's not. it's how it is.

i can't handle it.

i guess i'm not ready, and i still have my full fledged trust issues.

i think we did this out of lust, rather love.

if anyone's got questions, please, ask ME.

if people are talking, i would rather them hear the truth, rather than what people think happened.

-me.

pubes.

i bet the title caught your attention.

this post, has NOTHING at all to do with pubes.

this blog post, is basically an update in my ever-pathetic, failing, miserable life :)

so here goes:

THIS IS WHY I HAVEN'T BLOGGED:

1) i'm sorry i haven't blogged in a while. i've been really busy with school, AND THEN summer school.

2) i'm starting up my photography past time. if you wanna see some junk, you can see the fan page i have on facebook for myself:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Krisi-Smile-Photography/106610236057586?ref=ts

or my flickr, which i'm still figuring out how to use and maneuver.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/krisi-smile-photo/

^leave me some lovin' or some hatin'.

or ideas for themes. :)

3) I was computer restricted for about a month, because our PC just decided to fuck shit up, and blow up. okay, it didn't blow up, but it stopped working. so we got a new computer two days ago, and it's a mac! long story short: i had no computer to do fuck all on.

NEWS:

1) i turned 16! and i'm getting (hopefully, if i i pass the test) my G1 tomorrow. stay off the roads. even if you live in china. i will find some way to create a 50 car pile up there.

2) the guy who think's i'm a lesbian, might NOT think that any more.

3) i hate summer school with a FIREY passion. i had to go, because i got a 50% in grade ten math. i just wrote my exam today, and i went into the exam with a 60%. i'll see how i do tomorrow.

4) i'm going to my cottage on saturday, or tomorrow night. so, once again, i shall leave you for a while. i am sorry, dear readers.

OKAY I THINK THIS IS LONG ENOUGH, YA'LL PROBABLY STOPPED READING THIS LOOONG AGO.

i dont even remember how i sign off...

krisi :)

piss off.

i'm going to make a list of all the things i can think of from now (10.36am)
till lunch time (11.00am).

why? cause i fucking feel like it. :)

farts.
periods cramps.
capital letters.
the letter f.
nicolas cage.
big noses.
body hair.
body odour.
mushrooms.
olives.
ketchup (WHAT! KETCHUP?! [yes, yes i hate ketchup.])
when my hair falls outta my head when i rip my brush through it.
my ghetto cell phone.
feet.
math class.
school.
danni. (LMFAO)
homophobes.
fire
deep water
when my feet fall asleep randomly.
random leg cramps that in able you to move.
rock climbing.
facial hair.
finding pubes in my mouth.
magicians.
clowns.
people that sneak up on me. (just now like my teach did wtf.)
my pc.
headaches.
when my eyeliner
smudges.
my tiny hands.
working out.
ugly pictures of me. okay, most pictures of me.
runny noses.
emptying the dishwasher.
being told
what i am GOING to do.
when people tell me something that isn't true. like, i'll say "last night i had a good sleep." and someone else'll be like "no. we fucked all last night." and try to be serious about it. like, forealz. stfu.
when my cleavage
picks up dirt, wtffffffff.

okay. thats all i can think of, and its actually 10.49am.

smellyalata,

krisi :)

(things that i like, coming soon.)

nostril rapee

i don't really know how this happens,
but i have somehow managed to get a cut, in my nose.

how the FUCK does this happen?
and yes, this would happen to me.
i'm really not surprised...

but HOW?
its like, IN my nose.
not on the outside, its in the in-fucking-side, man.

do i shove a band aid up there?

and i have no idea how i got a cut there.
no, i don't pick my nose, okay thanks.

shit happens, obvli.

smellyalata,

krisi :)

see moore butts.

today, i got a new digital SLR camera, cause i'm into photography.
its a canon rebel XSi.

but i don't know what to name it.

i want to name it:
moore

but i also want to name it:
chelsea
(from one of my favourite songs chelsea smile).

so... i was hoping to combine the names together.
here was my thought process:
moore.
chelsea.
c.moore.
see more.
SEE MORE BUTTS.

and now, i can't stop thinking about buttsecks.
and i'm NOT naming my camera buttsecks.

or cunt flaps.
or labia majora.
kaii agreatbighug?
hhmphh.

smellyalata,

krisi :)

lime cum.

today, in history, after my history test, i was reading this magazine.
and i found a diy recipe for a face mask to clear your complexion.

i made it when i got home.

and really? a long story very short:

it looked like i took lime juice and cum, mixed it together, and spread it out on my face.

not, a pretty sight.

and then my neighbour comes to the door, and i open it.
he takes one look at me, and laughs.

i hate having shitty skin and trying to make it look better with lime cum.

smellyalata,

krisi :)

white chocolate

righty o.

so basically, my mom and i, ever since i told her a little tid bit of information a month or so ago, have become rather close.
oh whats this? you want to know what the tid bit is?
hmm... no. LOL.
in good time, lovies.

so, my mom and i are rather close right now,
and we were at my sisters new house, fixing up the garden because this house she bought, is a little bit on the ghetto side.
we're working in the garden, and these 12 year olds come outside, and you can tell they're trying to impress me.
by saying : crap, ass, bitch and everlasting fart.
i know, they totally stole my heart.
that's when i said out loud, by accident:
"no woman will ever be satisfied till she finds a man with a penis that ejaculates chocolate."

now my mother thought this was the funniest thing since marrying my father.
she's laughing really hard, and she said:
"i bet you those boys do. nice brown-"
"well, wouldn't it be white? like: HEY LOOK GUYS! I JIZZED SOME WHITE CHOCOLATE."

...probably not the smartest thing to say in front of my mother.
(who didn't know what jizz was (and i therefore had to explain to her what it was.)).
once she figured out what jizz was, she died a little inside when she found out that i knew that.
"HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?!?!"
"i go to a public school, mom."

so here's my lesson for today:
don't talk to your mother (or father for that matter) about jizz.
whether it brown jizz, white jizz, or blue jizz...
don't bring it up.
shit gets a little awkward.

smellyalata,

krisi :)

humpback whales

i am awfully sorry, but i haven't blogged on forever.
for two reasons:

1) my life's pretty boring.
2) i've been really fucking busy.

^ those two reason's don't contradict themselves too much eh?
like, you know when your really busy, but your life's boring?
like, bust stuff is basically school related.
and no one wants to hear me talk about school.
unless something interesting or embarrassing (cough cute guy who thinks i'm a lesbian cough) happens.

so.
i really don't know what to blog about.

so, until i find myself in an awkward situation,

smellyalata,

krisi :)

BOYFRAND.

http://media.photobucket.com/image/jordan%20witzigreuter/holanina1/orig-8165741.jpg?o=39


THIS GUY NEEDS TO SEX ME UP.

AJSHFLKAJFS.

smellyalata,

krisi :)

provocative children songs.

if you were a wink, i'd be a nod,
if you were a seed, i'd be a pod.
if you were the floor, i'd wanna be the rug,
if you were a kiss, i know i'd be a hug.
if you were a key, i'd be your chain,
if you were a sink, i'd be a drain.
if you were the window, i'd be your shutter,
if you were a cow, i'd be your udder.
if you were the chalk, i'd be your dust,
if you were the bread, well, i'd be your crust.
if you were a candle, i'd be the wick,
and if you were a doctor, i'd be sick.

my brother thinks he's a banana.

and that is all for today, my lovely little lemon drops.

smellyalata,

krisi :)

i WANT one.

on saturday i went to starbucks.
i went with messedone and tinkerbell_XO.

i ordered a caramel machiato.
the guy who made it for me, was scene.

then he handed it to me:
"venti caramel machiato?"



UM HELLO BRITISH ACCENT.


i want him. and i want him NOW.

ask messedone or tinkerbell_XO.
i just about jizzed all over the place, and then died.
my heart was like:
ASHFLKSAJFHASHFLKJASHFLIUAHLIGKJSADGN.
not to mention, i giggled like a fucking retard.

so what does this mean?
he probably thinks i'm mentally unstable.
which is true.
but really? he didn't need to know that.

smellyalata,

krisi :)

so i'm a lesbian.

today, i talked to this really cute guy.
and, because i'm krisi, i was myself.
my logic is that, i will be me, and is the guy doesn't like me, fuck'em.

so, as i'm talking to this guy with his friend, we started to joke around.
here is our conversation:
(c = cute guy, k = me, f = cute guys friend.)

...
c: so you have to decide to which one you'd rather take it up the ass from. adrian, or her.
k: oh, her FORSURE.
r: so you're a lesbian?
k: yes. indeed, i am.
c: really?
k: um, sure.
r: you like vagina's?!
k: true it up, i love me some vagina's!

and then, i licked my lips.
this is me, being stupid, and just... yeah.

so now, this really fucking cute guy, thinks i dig chicks.

awesome.

cat lady status, ACHIEVED.

smellyalata,

krisi :)

my poor shin.

yesterday, i went shopping.
i got like, 5 pairs of shorts, and 4 bras.
[oh, i found out, i'm a 36C.]
after i got home, i had this headache, so i took some advil, and went to bed.

i woke up this morning.
and my headache? was a fucking killer.
so, i didn't go to school.

i got up at 11.00am-ish, and went to a walk in clinic, to get looked at, for different reasons.
and i made a friend!
this little asain girl. so cute.
i was looking at a wheres waldo book, because i'm a champ, and she was looking over my shoulder at it, so i was like:
"wanna look at it with me?"
"yes!"
so we counted the fishies and i taught her to say 'bingo!' when she did something right.
then i asked her how old she was. she didn't know.
so i asked her:
"are you... 33?"
"yes, i'm firty-free."

she's the greatest.

ANYWAYS.

i came home, and i went back to bed.
my headache is gone now.
and i went downstairs to watch CSI.
at a commercial break, i went upstairs to get something.
and i tripped up the stairs.

as i'm tripping, i was holding a plate.
here's my thought process: DON'T BREAK THE PLATE FOR FUCKS SAKE, DO NOT BREAK THE PLATE.
good news, i didn't break the plate.
instead, i bruised my shin like fuck, and my knee hurts when i bend it, and my elbow... don't even get me started on my elbow.

that was my day today.
i made a friend, almost died, and saved a plate.

on a scale of one, to chuck norris, i think i'm roughly in the middle.

smellyalata,

krisi :)

boredom kills.

i'm in tech.
again. i seem to live in this class.
and i am so bored.
sapphire and i made our website thing, its due on the 12th and its the 5th.
we have way too much time to kill.

so what should i blog about?
hmmmm.

hot guys.

okay, as i am, i dunnoe, somwhere between a scene kid (i'm as scene as they come at my skool. untill i pierce my lip... and my tongue...), and mentally challenged, i have this massive thing for scene guys.
and yes, big shocker here, i like other guys too. not just scenes.
so, i'm going to list off the hottest guys i can think of.
i dare you to google them.
(by the way, i will marry these men. so back off.) :)

tim mcilrath
oli sykes
david schmitt
matthew gray gubbler
alexx-quinn (hes myspace famous. and yes, HE ADDED ME BACK OH SNAP.)

and these are the people i will share with my frands.

josh ramsay
jacob hoggard


you all should know of those menfolk.


lame blog post?
yup.
untill something of great interest comes along...

smellyalata,

krisi :)

THIS IS ME BORED IN TECH CLASS

i've decided that i'm going to write letters to people that stalk, i mean... follow me.
i'm just really bored. :)

(this is in no particular order.)

dear moh,
ahhhh mohsif. how i love thee.
what can i say about you? you are the greatest, i would like to point that out.
you are the cuddliest thing ever. and i love hugging you.
thanks for staying up late with me on school nights to watch me cry like a nincompoop.
only you would put up with by lame behaviour. and i love you for that.
so don't ever forget it.
love,
krisi-if.

dear torii,
oh torii. i love thee.
and i'm rather sorry that every morning you happen to play guitar for me, i can never think of the song that your playing.
i'm just stupid. :)
thanks for warning me about... yeah.
sorry, i should have listened. >
your awesome, m'love. don't change.
love,
krisi.

eric tenuta,
fuck you.
go make ME, a motherfucking goddamn sand which.
get on your knees.
or i will purple nurple you... AGAIN.
love,
your wife.

safa,
HI! i have no idea who you are, but thanks for following me.
actually, you could be a rapist for all i know.
JUST IN CASE YOU ARE... i live at...
i'm kidding.
anyways, thanks for lurking my lameness.
love,
krisi.

motley,
oh motley. even though i don't call you that...
oh well.
i've heard that people call you that because you like motely crue or something.
i've decided that i should be called:
Bring Me A Rise To Remember.
(Bring Me The Horizon, AFI, Rise Against, A Day To Remember. <--- my favourite bands.)
my new name reminds me of a boner.
a RISE...
yup.
okay, well, i love you,
love,
krisi.

tinkerbelll_XO,
oh, my love.
it was AWESOME seeing you at owl city.
and thanks for still loving me, after all the wonderful news i brought you about all that.
thanks for being an awesome friend.
i can't wait to see you again.
you're too much fun to talk to, and i love making you laugh.
and i love making dino expressions infront of hot scene guys...
>.>
i laav you,
love,
krisi,

merz,
HI! i don't know who you are either!
but that's okay. i love stalkers!
thanks for following me, and putting up with my super randomness.
hope you enjoy all my junk.
haha, that KINDA sounded dirty.
and thanks also for your posts on my posts. :D
love,
krisi.

the.(beautiful).let.down,
you realize your name is fucking hard for me to type down, eh?
anyways, you, are my sissy.
and you know i love you.
only you would trust me enough to get on the back of my atv and actually not try to kill yourself when i stopped driving. i had a lot of fun singing with you on that weekend.
we MUST do it again in the fall.
and only you would trust me enough to follow me through toronto when you thought for sure we would get lost.
BUT NO! we made it.
i love you my sissy.
love,
sissypoop.

the gentle giant.
well, isn't that name accurate.
it makes me think:
GREEN GIANT! HO HO HO.
now, i'm thinking about Santa.
...in the middle, i mean the end of april.
well, i love you, and your massive tallness.
love,
krisi.

annabell,
ahhhhhh yay i love you.
you're too much fun.
i love you and your guitars. i think we should jam soon.
just because you are awesome.
i love you, dont ever change, your super cool.
super hot.
your the girl i like a lot, your super super gi- OMG I JUST... WOW.
oh,
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMSAY.
love,
krisi.

p.s., you just lost the game.


LAST BUT NOT LEAST...

sapphire,
your sitting right next to me as i type.
i'm going to name some inside jokes for your own personal amusement...
your teeth, are like the underground railroad! (forblackpeople!)
jewinor rigby, picks up the rice in the church where her wedding has been...
all the lonely nazi's, where do they all come from? GERMANY!
QUEEN!
lemme just get on my knees here...
we have to talk, you have, GONORRHEA.
well, i love you. thanks for putting up with my total failness.
and thanks for letting me eat mud regularly.
i love you.
now lets get fucked and hump things.
many wishes,
love,
krisi.



I HOPE YOU LIKED THEMMMM.
you guys are my favourites.

"all those rather dreary rain clouds still bother me."

i made it.
i did it.
i walked from union station, to the docks.
and i didn't even DIE.

i know. i have won at life.

but im going to blog today, about this girl i stood behind for like, 15 minutes at the owl city concert.
this girl... holy sweet jesus fuck.

so, in this place, you have to stand, and fucking push people away to get to a decent spot. which is not easy, for a short kid. so, after me and my sissy got to a decent place, this chick makes her way in front of me.
fine. it would happen. whatever.
however, i was NOT fine, when she started to lean backwards to fist pump and like, half dance by pelvic thrusting the air all slow.
and her hair, was in some sort of weird pony tail, that was right in my face, and i am not kidding when i say that i literally ATE her hair.
then, i go to take pictures.
yeah well no. this chickie wasn't gonna let that happen.
she had lost the beat or something to started fist pumping at random intervals which just so happened to be when i tried to focus my camera, and therefore, took the picture, of what i hoped was adam,
but no.

it was her fucking fist.

i almost killed her, i'm not even kidding.

would anyone bail me outta jail?

all in all, it was a fucking awesome concert.
IHEARTOWLCITY.

smellyalata,

krisi :)

from bay, to lakeshore, to a shit hole.

tomorrow i'm going to see owl city with my friends, maddy and liz.
we have to walk from union station, to the docks.
this, may kill us.

i love you, my fine furry friends.

and if i don't make it, know that, i loved you all along,
just like sunny days that we ignore, just because,
we're all dumb and jaded.
and i hope to god i figure out whats wrong.

that was my musical, um... sex.
yes.
mmmmourladypeace.

okay, i love you.

smellyalata,

krisi :)

my brother

chuck norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. at night.


if at first you don't succeed, you're not chuck norris.


chuck norris CAN believe it's not butter.


chuck norris's hard nipples on a cold day are the best way to cut through a diamond.


chuck norris can speak braille.


chuck norris won the game.


death once had a near chuck norris experience.

gumm.

besides missing the shitter,
you know what really kind of sucks?

when you swallow your gum.

like, how many times have you done that?
by accident, or maybe you were in middle school and your teacher caught you with gum in your mouth and you instantly swallowed it and pretended like you had nothing in there to begin with.

i remember in grade 8, i was in music class, and i had gum in my mouth.
and i was playing the flute.
and my music teacher caught me. and she flipped shit.
"DO YOU HAVE GUM IN YOUR MOUTH KRISI?!"
"no."
swallows gum.

and even today, i had gum in my mouth, and i started to laugh really hard, and i basically inhaled my gum.
which, ever so conveniently went down what i call the "wrong tube" and i started to choke.

i love gum,
but it's basically down right fucking deathly.
who thought a rubber like substance, was so lethal?

smellyalata,

krisi :)

missed the shitter

i hate waking up to piss at like, 3am.
i straight up hate it.
its even worse, i would think if you're me.
is that possible? nope. but even still...

here is how i tinkle at 3am.
and here is why i am a moron.

last night, i work up at 3:41am to piss.
when i wake up that late, early, what have you, i am NOT fully functional.
so, i do the lazy krisi thing, and i don't even open my eyes to see where i'm walking.
i figure that i've lived in my house long enough to know when to open my door to get out of my room, and when to turn left to get into my bathroom.
and this is true. i can make it to the bathroom no problem.

i then pulled down my boxers (yes i sleep in boxers. be jealous.), and squatted over what i thought was the shitter.
nope. it was not the shitter.
it was 1/4th of the shitter.
so, i ended up with 1/4 of my ass on the toilet seat, and the other 3/4, which so conveniently weighed me down, was not on the crapper.
and i, krisi howson, at 3:41am, fell off the potty, and onto the floor.
its one thing to miss the crapper with your piss.
but your body? come the FUCK on.

all i wanted, was to take a piss, and go back to sleep.
that sure as hell didn't happen.

so, as i was crumpled on the cold floor of my bathroom, i decided 3 things.

1) we need heated floors
2) 15 year old's should still wear diapers.
3) i am NOT chuck norris's sister.

long story short?
i got up, eventually, and pissed.
and i went back to bed.
and i dreamed that i was kind of the crappers, wearing a diaper.

yep.
i'm the bee's knees.

smellyalata,

krisi :)

old hag's lookin' at the goodies.

so yesterday i went to the gym.

i know. it's quite the shock to hear i go to the gym.
but indeed, i do.
and at the gym i go to work out at, there are a lot of old foreign ladies, who must be fresh off the boat.
'cause they just don't get it.
if im standing there, half naked, i don't want them there, peeking at me.
it's a little awkward as i'm trying to hold a towel around my bottom half, so no one sees my cooter, and i'm also trying to change from a sports bra, into my legit bra.
the truth of the matter is, something is going to show.
and it's not gonna be pretty.
but still.
these old ladies, stand there, stop dead in their tracks, and watch me try and fail, at covering up my junk.

this makes me ask myself the question:
why do old ladies like looking at my goodies?

i've come up with two answers:

1) they're bisexual/lesbian perverts that prey on little girls.

2) i'm krisi howson, and i'm fucking sexy.

i like my second option.
& this makes me think,
if old ladies like looking at me because i'm so hot,
i must be chuck norris's sister.
why?
because no one can resist me.

(the second part of this post is highly sarcastic. i'm not attractive at all, and i'm not chuck norris's sister. however; that'd be the shit if i actually was all that and a bag of potato chips.)

(but old ladies really do stare at me.)

smellyalata,

krisi :)


p.s.
i'm not dead from the toxic substance that went into my cut. i know. be happy god damn it.

toxicnessosity

so today, just last period, in science, my science gave me a lab to do.
in this lab, i had to measure the refraction of light through a substance.
my substance, and i'm not sure what he was thinking, was methanol.
it's toxic.
and he gave it to ME, of all people.

me, who, like honestly, no.
i'm not good with water, let alone a toxic substance.
so, he gives it to me, tells me what it is, and tells me not to spill it.
can you guess what the first thing i did was?

i spilled it.
on the counter, not all of it though. but over the counter, and over my left hand.
which, so conveniently has a cut on it.
and, as the toxic substance flows over it, i can feel myself start to grow an extra hand.
and eye lid, without an eye.
and an ear lobe.

like, really?
this CAN'T be good.

just thought i'd let you know, that if i don't blog in 2 weeks or something, that means that this toxic shit has killed me, through a tiny cut on my left hand's pinkie finger.

i love you. you need to know that before i die.
here, lets hug over the computer.
come to your computer screen, and hug me.

...ahhh good hug.

and for those of you who DIDN'T go to the computer screens and hug me, i DON'T love you.

smellyalata,

krisi :)