granolaaaa

so today i ate lunch.
i know. its thrilling.
my lunch, consists of 6 meatless meatballs, and some kind of veg-a-ta-bulh.
i was busy last night, so i didn't get a chance to cut up my celery, so on the way out of my house today, i grabbed a apple crisp granola bar.
i love granola bars, but i dont like the apple crisp kind.
oh well. life goes the hell on.

so today, i ate my meatless meatballs, and i ate my granola bar.
i ate it really fast.
and so, like a normal person, i chewed with my molars.

and somehow, most of my granola bar, ended up in the back of my mouth, hidden between my gums, and my molars.
which is really just an awkward spot for food to get stuck.
and then the bell rang.
so, like the fool i am, i walked down the hall, in front of way too many people in my school, looking like a moron, as i had stuck my own tongue, up into gods country in my mouth, and thus, creating such a nasty looking face, people started to stare.
stare, and not look away.

this is why i'm single.
very, very single.

smellyalata,

krisi :)

creeped. nbd.

today, i'm going to blog about someone.
and i hope to GOD, he doesn't find this. (and i don't even believe in god.)
because that would be embarrassing for him. not me, HIM.
because he's a 19 year old.
and i'm 15. just, making that clear.
and most of the time, i can handle the creepiness. just... this guy? it's a little scary.

here's a sample of our conversation (G: guy; K: krisi):

G: sooo, wanna mate?
K: way to try and take advantage of me when in short and tired.
G: i try. i wuv you, krisi.
K: mmhmm.

and then, JUST now:

G: your really nice. would you like to bare my children?
K: i'm 15...
G: but you'll make a wonderful mother.
K: LAWL, no i wont. trust.
G: too bad, your already pregnant with my babies, and no amount of science can kill them.

...
i know, that i am a creepy son of a bitch, but this?
takes my creepy, and eats it for fucking breakfast.
(this just in, he's trying to get me to get skype. his reasoning? it's for our children.)

i'd just like to point out, that being creeped? not so fun.
like, it's fun to a certain point, but he crossed that point a LONG time ago.
he told me once, that he was gonna fuck me so hard, that i wouldn't be able to walk for three weeks.
...lovely.

mmkaii, that's it for today, just a little update on my life, and all the non important nonsense in it.
:)

smellyalata,

krisi :)

naptime. joytime.

yesterday, i wrote a good blog about a nap i had when i get home from school.
then, i went to do something, i came back to my computer, and it was GONE.
a little piece of me died, not gonna lie.
but today, i'm going to talk about this really fucked up dream i had, while taking a nap, in history class, when i was supposed to watch spiderman ride a horse, otherwise known as sea biscuit.

you know when your half asleep, and half conscious? but you still are completely unresponsive, and you kinda have weird dreams? you still hear what's going on around you, but you're basically asleep? that was me today.

i had this dream, where i was walking down the halls at school, with my friend maddy. actually, she's more of a sister, but it doesnt really matter in this dream.
so i'm walking down the halls, and we run into this... person.
(we arent fond of this person, right now, she'll remain nameless.)
and maddy and this person (we're calling her ethel.) started to talk to each other.
but for some reason, i couldnt understand what they were saying.
then i clued in as to why.
they were neighing like horses. (sea biscuit...)
so i'm standing there like a dumb ass, looking at them.
then i tried to talk, and i oinked.
i guess i just did the normal krisi thing, and pretended to know what the fuck they were talking about, but i wasn't doing a good job, because we got into a really heated argument in oink's and nieghs.

then i felt someone poke my side, and i woke up.
thank you maddy.
you and ethel were about to pummel me with your hands that had randomly turned into houves... and my snout i grew was no match for that.

that was history class for me.
nap time. i love it.

oh yeah, i woke up in a little puddle of drool.
i'm cute. no big d.

smellyalata,

krisi :)

starts with an "a". ends with "l".

you got me.
its advil.
i love it. and so today, i felt the need to talk about it.
i'm going to explain why i love it, and then write it a love letter.
brace yourselfzzz. it's a gonna getta fun.

today, i walked home. and when i got home, i took a tinkle.
normal bodily (is that a word?) function.
went to wipe, because i replaced the toilet paper, and oh my gosh guess what?!
aunt flow is here for a week.
and so i know that this means that in three hours, i will be thinking about killing myself, becuase my cramps, are torture.
for those of you who were there that day at school before my math exam... yes.
anyways, so i ran upstairs, and downed a lot of advil.
its been four hours.
and i have had no cramps. none. miracale? i think YES.
and i'm alive.
thats advil for you.

the love letter:

dearest advil,
i love you. thank you for stoping me from dying. thank you for telling those evil cramps to go away. thank you for for being so drugilisious, and making my pelvis numb.
i love you for this, and i dont ever wanna see the bottle of the you run out.
that would be the day that would make me wanna hide in a hole and never come out.
i love you very much, even if you do have a child proof cap on you.
sometimes i cant open the child proof cap. i guess you made it teenager proof. which is a shame, just playing hard to get i guess.
but its okay, i love you still.
thank you for being there for me around the end of the month.
you are my life now.
love,
krisi

lmfao.
okay. i am done talking about my period.
and advil.

smellyalata,

krisi :)

i danced today.

maybe its because i'm krisi, and as krisi, things like this would happen to me.
however; i know this happens all the time to other people.
today? t'was worse.
you know how (brace yourself, i might not explain this very well...), say your walking in the halls at school. and you come up to a person, one you dont know very well. and you end up blcking their way, and they end up blocking yours? so you're both standing there like dumb asses going "oh youll move? no me? you? move? you or me? yo-me." and you end up moving to the right to try and get out of their way, and they move to thier left (your right) and your still blocking each other? and this fail of a dance goes on and on...?
today, this happened to me.
with my 250 lb science teacher, in a door way, in front of my entire science class.
i held up at least 25 people, to awkwardly "dance" there with my sciecne teacher.
and honestly? as a sciecne teacher, you think he would be smart enought to stay the fuck where he was and let ME move.
yeah, that, was really awkward.
and yeah, that would happen to me.

smellyalata,

krisi

macgyver moment

i was supposed to blog about this a long time ago when it actually happened to me.
and don't lie, i KNOW this has happened to you.
a while back, my mom left for my grandmas house to help her fix it up a little bit because my mom is in to all that kinda stuff.
so, because my mom left, i was stuck with my father.
my father, kaii i love that man... but he is just not on the ball about anything.
so, it's march break, and i'm a girl. i love to sleep.
so i was asleep, and i woke up at around 12:30pm to take a piss, and only piss. then i was going back to bed. i'm not joking, i love my sleep.
my dad leaves for work at around 8am, and comes home at around 7pm. the rest of the day, i'm home alone.
so, right. i got up, stumbled over to the bathroom, sat my ass down on the crapper, took my piss.
reached for my toilet paper.
there was no toilet paper.
i sat there, looked at my lap, blinked, looked back up at the toilet roll again in hopes that some TP would magicially show the hell up so i could wipe and resume that wonderful thing i love so very much. (sex.) (KIDDING SLEEPINGGG.)
however, this was not the case.
my first though upon being so dissapointed was "what would macgyver do?"
the reasoning behind my thinking this, was a bumper sticker i saw a while back of my exact current situation.
then i got smart, i turned around and remembered there's a box of kleenex behind me on the potty always.
wanna know something sad?
there was no kleenex.
i was going to kill my father, he was supposed to replace that.
end result: drip dry method.

smellyalata :)

krisi

straws.

good afternoon my lovely lemon drops.
thank you gradualreport.
today, i'ma blog about this straw that i came across.
today, i went grocery shopping with my demon father. and i was really hungry, and he refused to by me food till after we were done.
so after we were done, we went to chorizo's this little mexican grill.
tis tastey there, and i had a chicken taco salad.
with a diet doctor pepper, which i happen to LOVE.
that is my favourtie thing to drink. and i gotta straw to drink it with.
after we ate, i put the straw back in the bottle, but the straw was too big to fit in the bottle.
so i picked it up, and bent it over, and put it back in.
i took it home.
i took it downstairs, and i went to take the straw out to drink it.
i put my finger in the hole (ILOSTTHEGAME.) to pull it out, but it wouldnt come out.
i spent at least 45 minutes trying to get this straw out.
i'm not even kidding you, 45 minutes.
fucking straws. pissing me off.
anyways, thats all.
i hate straws now. :)

smellyalata,

-krisi :)

oh look a dime.

omg hi.
okay, so i haven't blogged before, and im really not even sure why i'm doing this.
probably because i had nothing better to do in tech class a few days ago, so i signed up.
i don't genrally tell people a lot about me, like, people know who i am and all, but they rarely see the other side of me, and i find that when people blog, sometimes that side shows.
i've decided to blog about the little things in my life however...
like, how i found 35cents walking home today. (hence the title.)
because if you know me, you know that the little things get me excited.
so, today walking home, i was walking, obviously (no i was pelvic thrusting my way home. (wait... i would actually do that.)) and i stopped mid-sentence, to pick up a dime.
"HOLYSHIT." although it was only 10cents, it was awesome.
don't kid yourself, you like finding cash, even if it is a dime on the floor.
then, i was walking across the street, almost got hit by a car, but i picked up a quarter.
upon picking it up, i screamed "I AM MOTHER HUMPING AWESOME." and went back to walking/pelvic thrusting my way home.
and then i ate mud.

mmkaii, so that's it.
pointless and non important info about my day. :)
smell ya lata.

-krisi :)