lime cum.

today, in history, after my history test, i was reading this magazine.
and i found a diy recipe for a face mask to clear your complexion.

i made it when i got home.

and really? a long story very short:

it looked like i took lime juice and cum, mixed it together, and spread it out on my face.

not, a pretty sight.

and then my neighbour comes to the door, and i open it.
he takes one look at me, and laughs.

i hate having shitty skin and trying to make it look better with lime cum.

smellyalata,

krisi :)

white chocolate

righty o.

so basically, my mom and i, ever since i told her a little tid bit of information a month or so ago, have become rather close.
oh whats this? you want to know what the tid bit is?
hmm... no. LOL.
in good time, lovies.

so, my mom and i are rather close right now,
and we were at my sisters new house, fixing up the garden because this house she bought, is a little bit on the ghetto side.
we're working in the garden, and these 12 year olds come outside, and you can tell they're trying to impress me.
by saying : crap, ass, bitch and everlasting fart.
i know, they totally stole my heart.
that's when i said out loud, by accident:
"no woman will ever be satisfied till she finds a man with a penis that ejaculates chocolate."

now my mother thought this was the funniest thing since marrying my father.
she's laughing really hard, and she said:
"i bet you those boys do. nice brown-"
"well, wouldn't it be white? like: HEY LOOK GUYS! I JIZZED SOME WHITE CHOCOLATE."

...probably not the smartest thing to say in front of my mother.
(who didn't know what jizz was (and i therefore had to explain to her what it was.)).
once she figured out what jizz was, she died a little inside when she found out that i knew that.
"HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?!?!"
"i go to a public school, mom."

so here's my lesson for today:
don't talk to your mother (or father for that matter) about jizz.
whether it brown jizz, white jizz, or blue jizz...
don't bring it up.
shit gets a little awkward.

smellyalata,

krisi :)

humpback whales

i am awfully sorry, but i haven't blogged on forever.
for two reasons:

1) my life's pretty boring.
2) i've been really fucking busy.

^ those two reason's don't contradict themselves too much eh?
like, you know when your really busy, but your life's boring?
like, bust stuff is basically school related.
and no one wants to hear me talk about school.
unless something interesting or embarrassing (cough cute guy who thinks i'm a lesbian cough) happens.

so.
i really don't know what to blog about.

so, until i find myself in an awkward situation,

smellyalata,

krisi :)

BOYFRAND.

http://media.photobucket.com/image/jordan%20witzigreuter/holanina1/orig-8165741.jpg?o=39


THIS GUY NEEDS TO SEX ME UP.

AJSHFLKAJFS.

smellyalata,

krisi :)

provocative children songs.

if you were a wink, i'd be a nod,
if you were a seed, i'd be a pod.
if you were the floor, i'd wanna be the rug,
if you were a kiss, i know i'd be a hug.
if you were a key, i'd be your chain,
if you were a sink, i'd be a drain.
if you were the window, i'd be your shutter,
if you were a cow, i'd be your udder.
if you were the chalk, i'd be your dust,
if you were the bread, well, i'd be your crust.
if you were a candle, i'd be the wick,
and if you were a doctor, i'd be sick.

my brother thinks he's a banana.

and that is all for today, my lovely little lemon drops.

smellyalata,

krisi :)

i WANT one.

on saturday i went to starbucks.
i went with messedone and tinkerbell_XO.

i ordered a caramel machiato.
the guy who made it for me, was scene.

then he handed it to me:
"venti caramel machiato?"



UM HELLO BRITISH ACCENT.


i want him. and i want him NOW.

ask messedone or tinkerbell_XO.
i just about jizzed all over the place, and then died.
my heart was like:
ASHFLKSAJFHASHFLKJASHFLIUAHLIGKJSADGN.
not to mention, i giggled like a fucking retard.

so what does this mean?
he probably thinks i'm mentally unstable.
which is true.
but really? he didn't need to know that.

smellyalata,

krisi :)

so i'm a lesbian.

today, i talked to this really cute guy.
and, because i'm krisi, i was myself.
my logic is that, i will be me, and is the guy doesn't like me, fuck'em.

so, as i'm talking to this guy with his friend, we started to joke around.
here is our conversation:
(c = cute guy, k = me, f = cute guys friend.)

...
c: so you have to decide to which one you'd rather take it up the ass from. adrian, or her.
k: oh, her FORSURE.
r: so you're a lesbian?
k: yes. indeed, i am.
c: really?
k: um, sure.
r: you like vagina's?!
k: true it up, i love me some vagina's!

and then, i licked my lips.
this is me, being stupid, and just... yeah.

so now, this really fucking cute guy, thinks i dig chicks.

awesome.

cat lady status, ACHIEVED.

smellyalata,

krisi :)

my poor shin.

yesterday, i went shopping.
i got like, 5 pairs of shorts, and 4 bras.
[oh, i found out, i'm a 36C.]
after i got home, i had this headache, so i took some advil, and went to bed.

i woke up this morning.
and my headache? was a fucking killer.
so, i didn't go to school.

i got up at 11.00am-ish, and went to a walk in clinic, to get looked at, for different reasons.
and i made a friend!
this little asain girl. so cute.
i was looking at a wheres waldo book, because i'm a champ, and she was looking over my shoulder at it, so i was like:
"wanna look at it with me?"
"yes!"
so we counted the fishies and i taught her to say 'bingo!' when she did something right.
then i asked her how old she was. she didn't know.
so i asked her:
"are you... 33?"
"yes, i'm firty-free."

she's the greatest.

ANYWAYS.

i came home, and i went back to bed.
my headache is gone now.
and i went downstairs to watch CSI.
at a commercial break, i went upstairs to get something.
and i tripped up the stairs.

as i'm tripping, i was holding a plate.
here's my thought process: DON'T BREAK THE PLATE FOR FUCKS SAKE, DO NOT BREAK THE PLATE.
good news, i didn't break the plate.
instead, i bruised my shin like fuck, and my knee hurts when i bend it, and my elbow... don't even get me started on my elbow.

that was my day today.
i made a friend, almost died, and saved a plate.

on a scale of one, to chuck norris, i think i'm roughly in the middle.

smellyalata,

krisi :)

boredom kills.

i'm in tech.
again. i seem to live in this class.
and i am so bored.
sapphire and i made our website thing, its due on the 12th and its the 5th.
we have way too much time to kill.

so what should i blog about?
hmmmm.

hot guys.

okay, as i am, i dunnoe, somwhere between a scene kid (i'm as scene as they come at my skool. untill i pierce my lip... and my tongue...), and mentally challenged, i have this massive thing for scene guys.
and yes, big shocker here, i like other guys too. not just scenes.
so, i'm going to list off the hottest guys i can think of.
i dare you to google them.
(by the way, i will marry these men. so back off.) :)

tim mcilrath
oli sykes
david schmitt
matthew gray gubbler
alexx-quinn (hes myspace famous. and yes, HE ADDED ME BACK OH SNAP.)

and these are the people i will share with my frands.

josh ramsay
jacob hoggard


you all should know of those menfolk.


lame blog post?
yup.
untill something of great interest comes along...

smellyalata,

krisi :)